...was the Uxbridge English dictionary, which consists of new definitions for old words. Favourites so far:

Aromatic – a gadget used by Robin Hood

Gripes – what Australians make wine from

Heathrow – Brief description of what a baggage handler does

Paucity - Liverpool

Pre-Raphaelite – one who leaves before the raffle

Soupçon – dinner’s nearly ready

Spectacular – a short-sighted vampire

Veneer – Flemish painter of floorboards